A Chance to Escape

Went to school and did my speech and it went pretty well, IB prepared me well haha. There was this one white girl that brought in chopstick and that was her “how to”, how to use chopsticks, and she’s talking a class thats half asian ahha. And then she spent about 3 out of the 6 minutes passing out chopsticks to everyone…it was kinda sad but funny. Then after that I went to the WELL and did that dance thingy, i think my friends and I overestimated his abilities because it wasn’t that great of a choreo to Drake. Thennnn played basketball and won :) did rockclimbing orientation and overall it was a pretty active day. Just got home and while driving I couldn’t stop looking at the moon. It’s so pretty :) Yeup, that was my dayy

Just got home from school. Today was such a weird dayy blah but it ended well. I’m so thankful for my friends, my sister and Sam for putting up with some of the things I do and my random moodswings sometimes haha. Im so sleepy but I gotta wake up at 7 tm to finalize my speech and figure out any last minute edits. Oh public speaking, I hate you. Lol but I guess it’ll help me overcome my shyness hah hopefully.. Anyways after my speech tm it should be fun :) gonna go to the WELL and learn choreo with my friends…should be interesting and funny cause it’s our first time doing this kinda stuff! Mkk off to sleep. Goodnight<3

this is ridiculous. 2 days in a row. i feel so stupid right now.

I needed todayyy. It was a perfect way to get over my bad couple of days

First went to his house and we just hung out then he surprised me with a (month early) birthday present! It was the new ipod touch with facetime and all thatttt ish  Thanks babee!<3

Then we headed over to boiling crab and met up with Lina, Kristina, Cathy, Peter, Patrick and Joey. 176 dollars worth of food and hella messy but it was good :)

No class tomorrow but heading over to the WELL, maybe get a dance seshhh? & studying for the history quizzzz. funfun.

Mkk, off to play with my new toy :3

52hearts:

There isn’t really a name for it but it’s the kind of thing where all you need is to hear them breathing next to you in order to feel safe from the world, from yourself, from the sound of your breaking heart echoing underneath your ribs. It’s the kind of thing where nothing else seems to matter but surrendering yourself to that moment, lying inside the nook of his arm, enclosed by the warmth of his body.

crushes:

I don’t know what to do with you when you smile. I just want to hug your face, but. that would seem weird. You make me weird. Which makes me smile.

can someone make this week go by faster or cheer me up?

kthxbai.

The feelings of insecurity, the feelings of rejection, the feeling that you get deep down in your stomach that makes you sick. All that plus more, I’m feeling insanely stressed out. But I’m just scared that I’m not gonna be able to achieve what I want right now. I made my mistakes in the past and I know what I did wrong, I know what I can do to fix it and I am changing. But I can’t help but think even with all these changes, what if I’m still not gonna be able to do it. What if I just end up getting shot down over and over? What if I didn’t make the right decision? What if I’m not good enough? What am I gonna do then? I don’t know, just right now I’m lacking confidence in myself, things haven’t really been going my way so I can’t tell myself that since I was able to achieve that other thing that I’m gonna be able to do this. I just feel like it’s not gonna happen for me. I’m scared I’m gonna let down my family. I don’t wanna be pessimistic about my future but I can’t help it. I’m scared. It’s a horrible feeling, and I feel like I’ve given up on myself.

52hearts:

I love those kind of nights that turn out unexpectedly good, great, and sometimes just all out amazing just because you didn’t really expect anything to happen at all. If only we could live just like that — with no expectations in mind. It’s possible we’d be much happier, with more memorable moments that would last us a lifetime.

Things that made me smile today :)

- sushi hook and pinkberry with babee being dramatic about errythang :p <3

- going to my baby cousin’s soccer game in Elk Grove.

- watching all the kids just group together and chase the ball and then seeing that the goalies both had their shirts over their heads while trying to climb the goal posts during the game.

- cheering obnoxiously for Ben with my cousin and sister.

- playing tag with Ben and pushing Edward on the swings.

- teasing ben when a random little girl quietly approached him, wanting to talk to him

- driving home at night while listening&singing to old school R&B

- seeing that I could make my baby cousins smile

- family<3

today definitely made up for all the stupid stuff yesterday

lalala gym with my sister tomorrow morning and then study sesh with babe at sac state yayy :)

Taking a break from studyinggg. Its been a super long day today. I can’t seem to go to sleep at a normal time; it’s always after 2am and so I start texting people till I fall asleep but then I hear footsteps and random noises that freak me out just to find out its my sister. She always finds the need to creep up in my room to scare me and when she does I scream and wake up the house :l But yea, I’m shleepy.

All I’ve been doing today is studying and playing tennis. I miss my girls! Its sad how I still think about how we were so close to finals and we lost by one game.

Anywaysss, I’m tryna lose weight so I’m going to the WELL @ school for the first time tomorrow. Apparently there’s a huge rockclimbing wall so I’m super excited :) I haven’t gone climbing since donald’s birfday.

Mmk back to reading & taking notes..

boooo my cheeks are chubby :l

todays just not my day :/

Its been awhile since I’ve been this happy. <3